Everyone Knows You Need a Husband to Pioneer a Church

In May 2000 God called me to pastor a new church. I had heard his voice clearly; preparations were complete and it was all beginning to happen. It should have been a time of celebration – time to party and let the streamers fly, because this was the moment of destiny; God’s promises were finally coming to pass.

But it wasn’t. Even though God had spoken and everything was ready, I knew I couldn’t do it. I knew that what God was calling me to was impossible because I didn’t have the one thing I needed most.

A husband.

And everyone knew you needed a husband to plant a church.

A Single Woman Pastor?

I knew it because I’d seen in at Pastor’s conferences. Those times when we’d be celebrating the success of a new church; when the pastor would take to the platform with his wife and talk about what God had done. He’d smile and wrap his arm around the woman beside him; “But of course I couldn’t do it without her.”

I knew it because of the weddings I’d attended. That moment in the ceremony when the minister would stand before the bride and groom and recite a Bible passage such as Ecclesiastes chapter 4; “Two are better than one. If one falls down, the other can help them up. But pity the person who has no-one to pick them up.”

I knew it too because of the textbook I’d read at Bible College. The one that was written by our denomination’s experts and was prescribed reading for would-be church planters. There in the first section was a list of ‘essentials’ – the first one being; “A pastor and his wife.”

I tried to tell God that. Tried to tell him about some of the statistics in our leadership and the Scriptures he’d inspired. I even told him about the college textbook. But he didn’t seem to care.

It stood to reason that I should be upset. It made sense that I should call God unfair. This had the mark of failure stamped all over it. My new church was to be in St Kilda – the red light district of Melbourne; an area they said was particularly tough; where drunks interrupted the Sunday service and pastoral calls came from lonely men at 2am. And this was not your normal pioneering situation. A church had died and I was to start it over again. There was no money. My ‘team’ was a remnant of people who had already suffered too much disappointment. And it wasn’t like I was experienced. I may have been involved in a few different ministries over the years, but I’d never planted a church before.

So why would God ask me to do it on my own?

A Vision of Equal Wheels

I still remember the moment he answered. I was driving in my car on the way to work when a clear picture came into my mind. It was of a penny farthing bicycle; one of those 19th century types with an enormous wheel at the front and a tiny wheel at the back. Then I heard the words; “That’s the old-fashioned way.”

I knew instantly it was God and I knew exactly what it meant. I knew if I married now, my husband would be the big wheel at the front and I would be the small wheel at the back and I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that unless I did what God was calling me to, it would stay that way.

single woman pastor

The picture seems so right; so true. God was calling men and women to work together to build the kingdom of God. His vision was for partnership – two equal wheels that are joined and fitted together, where one does not diminish the other and where both are needed to move forward. I believe this is God’s vision for 21st century women. But while it sounds good when we first hear it, when it comes to how it works, what does that mean?

Does it mean that men and woman are both equally precious to God or does it mean more than that? Does it mean that both genders have the same gifts, talents and skills – so husbands and wives should have the same salaries, have access to the same jobs and share the same roles? Or does it mean that men and women should have equal opportunity to exercise leadership and if so, does that include all spheres as in the workplace, church and home? Does it mean that either dads or mums can be the primary caregivers or that women can develop their careers while men stay at home? Is that what it means?

Looking back, I realise God’s answer to my why question about planting a church as a single had far greater implications than just me. While I was still learning that God’s plan for my life was bigger than the mindsets I’d grown up with and that I needed him more than a husband to fulfil it, God was declaring something about men and women at a much broader level.

God’s vision for us has always been one of ‘equal wheels’. Right from the beginning, he established his design for men and women to represent him on the earth together (Genesis 1:27-28). A penny farthing mindset was never part of his ideal. That’s the old-fashioned way – a model of living that has come about as a result of sin and conflict (Genesis 3:16). Now it’s time to change. It’s time to live out God’s vision for women. Answering the question of what that looks like is what this ministry is all about.

What are your thoughts as the meaning of the penny-farthing vision? How do you think it is the old-fashioned way? Share here.

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